Because He changed .. (continues)

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“How can someone survive losing the one they love”?, she read a comment out of many others on a recently updated post on Instagram. Something about the question startled her deep down to the core of her heart. One of the many love-struck nights she had spent with him, he pleaded, almost with a childlike innocence, “don’t leave me, don’t let me go”, she was surprised, pleasantly though because it was not something unusual, however, his expression in moments like these was always frightening. How could she leave him? – She wasn’t someone who would accept a man’s love just for leaving him in the way, she wasn’t someone who would let a man explore her soul, find peace with his insecurities, give up on her own idea about world to believe in the one he holds and then abandon him for something else. She repeatedly expressed herself, therefore, every time he dwindled into his doubt about her commitment, it alarmed her as if that was in fact representation of his own weakness, his own feeble strength, his love for her. She held on, she held him with a lady’s grip, strong and warm.

During the nights he would run fingers through her hair, intertwined into arms of each other, he whispered love into her soul, each successive day he took her identity away from herself and replaced it with his own. She felt like liquid which is poured in a mould, only guided to turn into unacquainted shapes, powerless and uninhibited.  He lit a fire in her heart; it wasn’t just the fire of love, but also of fear and of passion. She could feel his love in her veins; he was not like other men. He was hers, and she would do anything to secure him, but she never had to, because there was no one to secure her when he changed.

She had heard of men turning into stoneheart. At the center of it now, she was the heart, and he was a stone. She was officially left to face three challenges, the first was her battle with the world, a world where she had to live upto the expectations, while she was repeatedly failing to prove to the gender role the world expected of a lady. Secondly, she had to fight her own self, her own heart, her own love for him, her loss of self identity, self love and now when suddenly left desserted, she had to fight the desire to hold onto him. Thidly, she had to fight him.

 

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